Sunday, April 23, 2006

Josh Bolten Breaks Away

Well, the latest in the string of shuffle-ups at the White House includes new chatter that Harriet Miers may be removed from her job as President Bush's counsel. Scotty McClellan was axed recently, showing the way Bush repays years of loyalty and lying under fire and ex-Kommander Karl Rove recently woke up to find a horse's head on his pillow.

Republicans said that Tony Snow, a commentator for Fox News and a former speechwriter for Mr. Bush's father, was in negotiations for the job of White House press secretary. Experts say his ability to lie to the press and to the public far exceeds that of Scotty McClellan and that Josh Bolten welcomes a true professional in the ability-to-lie arena.

"Lying is a must in the War against Terrorism," Bolten was quoted as saying by an unnamed source. He added. "The immigration problem can only be solved by lying. We must pretend that we are recruiting Mexicans to vote for us, while secretly building a VERY BIG wall across the border with detention camps spaced every 10 miles or so. We also must continue to pretend that the economy is robust, the the War in Iraq is making progress and democracy is making headway there, while denying the fact of a civil war. In fact, I have a laundry list of lies that I want John Snow to polish as soon as he comes on board.

Josh Bolten then broke into a gleeful breakdance and spun around a few times, thinking about who to fire next.

18 Comments:

At 1:32 PM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

LOL!
I love it!
Since I already have the new hires lined up today, he should call me and thank me for doing his job for him.

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger glenda said...

No kidding,and they surely would be an improvement!!!

 
At 2:28 PM, Anonymous earl bockenfeld said...

TIME Magazine's Mike Allen outlines a "five-point plan" posited by President Bush's new chief of staff Josh Bolten to "rescue" the Bush presidency in magazines to hit newsstands Monday.

The five key points include:

1) "Deploy guns and badges" -- to play to the conservative base on illegal immigration, using the cloak of Homeland Security.

2) Make Wall Street happy through tax cuts.

3) Brag more ("highlight the glimmer of success in Iraq").

4) Reclaim security by playing tough with Iran (On Iran, "Democrats will lose").

5) Court the press (offer Tony Snow of Fox News the job of White House press secretary)

He forgot Number 6: When in doubt, blame the democrats. Fucking asshole.

The only way the Dems lose because of Iran is if they let themselves get railroaded into supporting it... again.

I've read that Bolten likes to collect photos of W's hands. May I just add, ewwwww. That should be played far and wide. No one can think that is normal. and he's a confirmed bachelor, and noted momma's boy

Like Rock Hudson?

Then he fits right in with the rest of this whole out-of-touch-with-their-own-sexuality crew!

This hands thing is disturbing (but also entertaining)! If he gets off on W's hands image the mess he'd make over pics of Karen's or better yet Torie's mits?!?!

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger glenda said...

w's hands? That sounds like a book title!
It immediately is of interest to me that there is no mention of addressing the war in Iraq in Bolten's game plan.
Just another elephant we do not want to talk about.

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger GayProf said...

Great Hera! I am creeped out by the hand-thing. This I had never heard.

Love the blog, Glenda!

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

Bolten can really bust a move

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger PTCruiser said...

Wow, that's a lot of pretending there. I love how they're rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic right before the mid-term elections.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger glenda said...

He's pretty spry for his age, but then, you know, firing people is so energizing!

PT, I like the comment about the deck chairs. Maybe some one could give him a nudge off the deck before we hit the iceberg.

Hi, Graeme.

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger M.D. said...

Google results:

"Tony Snow-job" : 60
"Tony snowjob" : 70
"Tony snow job" : 61

Doesn't bode well for Phony Tony.

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger Rory Shock said...

awesome and ... ironic! ... by admitting that lying is the most important thing, he seems to be telling the truth for the first time ... but then roryz reality check sets in and hfs ... great SATIRE .... nice one Glenda ... and hilarious pik ... thankya

 
At 8:11 PM, Blogger Lily said...

Oh no you didn't have him breakdancing Glenda!!!! yeah, the hands thing is weird even in MY view.


Love your lizard.

 
At 8:28 PM, Blogger glenda said...

Could be his lttle fetish. He's taken to this new position with relish.

 
At 8:38 PM, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

They definitely need a fresh crop of liars in there. Nice little dog and pony show for the press is all it is.

 
At 8:40 PM, Blogger celticfire said...

Iran :(

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger a rose is a rose said...

da roof da roof da roof is on fire

we don't need no water let the ....................

 
At 5:58 AM, Blogger Rainbow Demon said...

Great post, Glenda...
Made my morning.

Gotta "hand" it to them... LOL

Peace,
=RD=

 
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