Saturday, April 01, 2006

And the Bush Survey Says.......

When Justice Antonin Scalia made an obscene gesture in a Catholic Church the other day, I started thinking about the way that Americans communicate. Hand gestures have been a traditional means to show displeasure, anger, delight, etc. I decided to take a photographic poll of friends and locals to see what kind of gesture or communication, if any, they would like to send to President Bush concerning the way he has handled the Iraq War.

I started by going next door to see my friend and neighbor Mary Principle. I needed to return the iron she lent me about three months ago anyway. When I saw that Baby Principle was sitting in her lap, I decided to get the youth vote and asked him first.

"Baby Principle, what message would you like to send to our President about this war?" He looked up, grinned, drooled a bit and voted with his index finger.

Then I spotted his sweet brother, little Ethan Principle. He's getting to be a big boy, going into school soon and should be knowledgeable about politics by now. Asked him the same question.

Well, this family is in agreement so far. I asked Ethan where his older brother, Peter Principle was. He said Peter was out in the street playing around and riding his new bike.

So, after spending a few minutes getting Mary's answer to my survey, I told her goodbye and trundled out to find him.

OOOPs! Peter Principle was in trouble. I didn't want to interfere with an officer of the law carrying out his duty, which they do quite regularly in my neighborhood, so I shouted my question to little Peter. The little darling gave a sly answer while being interrogated by the nice policeman, something about a stolen bicycle in the neighborhood. Those darn kids!

I even surveyed Officer Smiley as we call him, a pleasant kid-friendly law enforcement officer who always has a cheerful word for everyone.

As he was handcuffing Peter, he had a few minutes to answer my question about the President. His third finger angrily tapped the arrest form. Wow. This day was getting statistically bizarre. Everyone was unhappy with the way Bush is handling the war! Yikes!

So I walked down the street to our neighborhood Zilker Park. It was a lovely day, the birds were singing and I ran into LaTour DeFrance, a neighborhood homeless woman. I often buy her coffee and breakfast, so we are on speaking terms. "Hi, LaTour," I shouted, "how's the day going?

She was a little hung over but basically OK. When I asked her about Bush, she instinctively snarled, went into a fetal crouch and whipped out the bird like a gunslinger on X, "That mofo, he is the definition of evil."

"Now, LaTour, I asked, aren't you being a bit hasty?" I was trying to be pleasant.

"That bastard will be the death of us all," she replied cryptically, and took a swig out of her pocket flask.

I kept walking and saw a giant fire ant mound. Now, they get extra big in Texas, as you may know, and my sister's babysitter, Betty Jo Bob was standing in front of one of the smaller Texas-sized fire ant mounds, enjoying the clean fresh air.

"Hey, Betty Jo Bob," I said, "You are standing way too close to that fire ant mound, your momma's gonna tan your hide if you get bit up. C'mon over here."

She marched right over and I asked her if she had anything she wanted to say to the President to describe his handling of the war. As she scratched lazily, she expressed her opinion for the camera. Well, there it was, another enthusiastic third finger salute.

I thanked her and kept on moving until I saw her brother, Jimmy Jo Bob, on his way with Stinky Elroy over to their National Guard weekend training at Camp Mabry. Well, once again I got the same answer, which surprised me until I remembered he and Elroy were real close friends and Elroy's bother had been perforated to death by mine shrapnel in Iraq because the US government hadn't given him any body armor.

Well, you can see his answer. Shooting his Commander-in-chief a fine proud American eagle. I began to feel like that Greek guy Diogenes who wandered around with a lamp looking for an honest man. Didn't anyone like the way Bush was handling the war?

I took a few minutes to stop in at Roy's duplex by the park. It was still early and from the loud punk/ska sound coming from inside, I could tell they were up and awake. Roy works down at Emo's, a bar on 6th street, as bar back while he goes to college. They let me in and offered me a doobie, in between giggles, which I pleasantly declined, as I told him what I was doing.

The cluttered inside of his duplex was covered in a thick smoky haze. When they finally located their third finger, there was a whole array of photos I took, including some of his friends Ahmed, Hushang and Cho.
I thanked them for their time and their opinion, left them to their silliness and headed home.

Wow. I knew that the Bush was slipping in the polls, but still I was surprised to see the unanimous negative reaction to his war policy. I decided to stop briefly at my new accountant's office to fill out a few forms that he had called me about the day before. I also thought to include my accountant Larry in the survey.

I walked into Larry's office and it was plain he had just returned from his daily four-mile run. He was catching his breath as I explained my mission for the day. He winked and coyly ran his third finger across his face with a look that told me not to push him for further explanation. I signed the forms quickly and moved on.

Then I saw my old high school buddy Mack Rell, just pulling his hog out for a spin. He offered me a ride home and I gladly accepted. I explained what I had been doing all day while putting on a spare helmet.

No point in taking any unecessary chances! He turned and I snapped his picture. Yup, just like all the others. More of the same flip off to Bush. We roared off in a cloud of dust. I got home in one piece and thought about my day.

Looks like Bushco has used up his political capital. I turned on the TV and promptly fell asleep.

19 Comments:

At 9:42 PM, Anonymous earl bockenfeld said...

Maybe as a result of your survey, we need to hire these guys to come up here and do their beer magic. Maya Priests “Cleanse” Cancun of Bush Evils

Cancun, Mexico, Mar 31 (Prensa Latina) "People in Cancun, where tight security has been in force for the last two days, are breathing a clearer air Friday, after five Maya priests cleansed the city of “evils in US President George W Bush.”

"Members of the Ceremonial Center of Nuevo Valladolid made the “cleansing” at Las Palapas Park, where they erected an altar, burnt incense and drank a beer called the balche, which is used to purify the spirit.

“We are getting rid of Bush evils,” said Priest Romualdo May.

"The ritual is among actions held in Cancun and across Mexico to condemn the presence of Bush, who is attending the Mexico-US-Canada meeting opened today.

"Talks between Vicente Fox, Bush, Prime Minister Stephen Harper and their delegations are focusing on border security, regional competition and cooperation to fight diseases such as bird flu."

 
At 6:47 AM, Blogger glenda said...

Thanks for the update, Earl. Was busy throwing a dinner party last night.

OMG, I used to go to Cozumel every year with my kids, which is an island across the straits from Cancun. There are the coolest baby seahorses out a bit in the clean clear water there. And the diving is great down there.

"Balch Beer Cleanser" would make a great fake new product to scour the Senate and House of pussiliency, don't you think????

If you ever get a chance, fly over to Merida on the mailand and check out Chichinitza, the Mayan ruins in the jungle.

Fox and Bush were tight back when Fox took over, but seem to have gotten into some macho pissing contest off and on the past few years.

 
At 8:13 AM, Anonymous LILY BRANFORD said...

Yeah, yeah. Tell me more about this Mack Rell.

i used to have assorted middle finger shots as my id pic- I miss the Bush one. Maybe I will put it on again. Made me smile.

Anyway, I agree with these nice folks. Peter Principle is always in trouble, huh?

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger fallenmonk said...

Ho Glenda and Hi from France.
Thanks for stopping by the place I will try and stop by here in between everything else. Even though I am a good Georgia cracker I married a lady from Austin/San Marcus/Helotes so we're like family..
I see you have an interesting neighborhood. Keep up the fight.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger glenda said...

Mack A. Rell is an articulate animal lover and gives me free upgrades on my computer. I helped him rebuild his carburator once a long time ago. Not much more to the story that I can print without bringing in stampeding animals to comment.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger glenda said...

Thanks, Fallenmonk,
Like your blog too. Was just in San Marcos last week. Boy, that little old town is growing quickly.

 
At 8:58 AM, Blogger glenda said...

Lily,
Oh, and don't worry about Peter Principle. He always comes out OK.

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger Candace said...

I enjoyed this story SO much, Glenda. Thanks!

Chichinitza - loved it!

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger isabelita said...

This is very funny, Glenda! Spreading the BushCo. lack of civility, one bird at a time...

 
At 4:33 PM, Blogger Rory Shock said...

exafrickinlent!!!

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger CTB said...

Rory is twisted!!! But we love him.

 
At 1:30 AM, Anonymous Pekka said...

Anybody got Tour deFrance's phone number?

 
At 4:34 AM, Blogger glenda said...

She's over at the wome's sheler right now. They have an unlisted number. Security issue, you understand.

 
At 8:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Citisucks said...

The middle finger, also great to direct at asshole SUV drivers. Wow even the pigs are now flicking off Bu$h.

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger betmo said...

nicely handled veruca.

 
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