Thursday, March 23, 2006

Donald Rumsfield: Evidence That He is a Werewolf

After getting this smuggled photo showing Donald Rumsfield in werewolf transformation mode, against the backdrop of a full moon, we decided to go look at his official bio to see if the government had any information about his werewolf status. Click on the Title field above to see his bio for yourself.

Rummy's bio not only reflects the official government version, but also the secret version which only became visible with the help of Glend's magic wand. Here is the true bio of Donald Rumsfield, in abbreviated form.

Donald H. Rumsfeld was sworn in as the 21st Secretary of Defense on January 20, 2001, before the country became aware of his werewolf status. Before assuming his present post, the former Navy pilot had also served as the inept 13th Secretary of Defense, White House Chief Slacker of Staff, U.S. Ambassador to NATO, Bush's coke contact, U.S. Congressman and chief executive officer of two Fortune Cookie 500 companies.

Secretary Rumsfeld is responsible for directing the actions of the Defense Department in response to the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, and for doing nothing to coordinate the prevention of these attacks despite early warning from his own government spies. The war is being waged against a backdrop of major change within the Department of Defense; this statement doesn't really mean anything, just adds drama to my resume. The department has developed a new defense strategy of attacking countries not involved in the bombing of the Twin Towers and replaced the old model for sizing forces with a newer approach even less relevant to the 21st century or any other century.

9 Comments:

At 9:58 AM, Blogger pinkfem said...

Oh, Donald, I always suspected that your bite was worse than your bark.

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

You know what? If you had said all this was true and you proved it, I don't think I would have been surprized. Sadly nothing bad about him or the rest would surprize me. This is like some freakin' horror story world right now.

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger glenda said...

Patricia,
I know what you mean.

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger JBlue said...

I knew it! (Okay, I didn't KNOW it, but I'm not surprised).

Funny.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said...

I don't think he's been getting enough blood lately. He's a looking a bit anemic.

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger Donviti said...

I was wondering where that leaves Paul Wolfowitz in this whole thing...but I figured it out. He is a distraction created by Rummy to keep the heat off

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Texas Social Worker said...

Paul is a "Wolf." Maybe that is code for werewolf.

 
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